


Diary of a Fucked Up Child

by nymphlotus



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Avenger Loki (Marvel), Avengers Family, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Dom Loki (Marvel), Dom/sub, Drug Use, Explicit Language, F/M, Heavy Angst, Hurt Peter, Insecure Tony, Love Stories, Masturbation, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Precious Peter Parker, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve, Public Sex, Rough Sex, Sex Toys, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Top Bucky Barnes, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-09-27 18:56:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17167496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nymphlotus/pseuds/nymphlotus
Summary: A five foot, hundred pound, little girl in the Avengers tower doesn't sound very scary. But this pot smoking, pill popping, hell on wheels isn't one to mess with. She is at her wits end and ready to lose it. What happens when this 22 year old genius comes face to face with her worst fear, her crush.





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

> Strong Content

The hot water steamed up the mirror. A cloudy misty haze filled the large bathroom. Smoke filled out of my mouth, floating up into the air. I leaned back in the sweet water, placing the blunt on the side of the bathtub. The hot water warmed up my insides. With a cloudy mind I took the cold glass of my new toy. Slowly rubbing the tip on my hot bundle of nerves. I closed my eyes thinking of him doing it. I did this often, about every night. I smoked a fat blunt and let my fantasies lose. I felt my body burn hot, hotter than the water I'm soaking in. My small hand grasped the glass as i pushed it into my hot center. I let my mouth drop open and my eyes roll back. My small frame twitched delicately. I pressed into the toy stretching me, grinding into my g spot. 'Bucky..'I whimpered in my head. I bit my lip and moved my wrist, moving my hands quick and hard, hitting that spot over and over. I arched my back, my eye twitched in a way. I panted as I pounded into myself. The water adding more pressure. I squirmed and whimpered, a silent scream of pleasure. I let the toy out and slammed back in, over and over. I bit down on my lip hard as I went over the edge. My body limped as I leaned back against the tub. I took out the glass toy and gently laid it on the rug. I was high as a kite and freshly fucked. 

 

"Fuck you bitch." I looked into the mirror, my middle finger higher than my ass.

Bright light filled my windows, reflecting off the dark wooden floor and giving me a pounding headache. I rolled over in my large bed and lit another blunt. My limbs ached in pain. I had way to much fun last night, yet my legs still felt slick. I rubbed my head with my other hand. Today was going to be a long day. The first thing I did was close the dam blinds, I didn't give a shit if it smelled like weed. Stark can kiss my ass. I sat back on my bed fully clothed. A pair of dark skinny jeans and a hoodie, my hair in a messy bun. I really just don't give a shit. I took one last hit and threw out my blunt. 

The kitchen buzzed with people as usual. Steve and Buck talked with a cup of coffee. Vision and Tony ate breakfast over a game of chess. Nat and Wanda giggled together about recent drama. Even Banner was in there this morning. I mentally groaned as I pulled up my hoodie. I tried to act as invisible as possible, not only cause I was high as fuck, but because I hate human interaction. I took my favorite mug and filled it with the hot liquid. "Morning." I heard Vision say kindly. He was placing everyone's dishes in the sink. I mumbled a morning to him and tried to run out of there as fast as possible. "Now hold on there, kiddo." I looked back a Stark, everyone's eyes were now on me. Even Peter walked in and joined the show. Anxiety bubbled in my chest, but the weed calmed it down slightly. The high slowly starting to intensify. "We need the reports on the amplifier. Fury is on my ass and threatening to come down here. What the hell is going on? You are never late on your reports."

I sighed loudly. The hot mug in my hands. "Its literally due at midnight tonight. Besides that I'm already done with it. The amplifier wouldn't have been such a little bitch if you left it alone." His face contorted with rage. "You're 20 act like it-" I snorted. "I'm 22. I'll turn the report in to Fury. Get off my ass." I turned around to walk, but Steve's large body blocked my way. I could feel Buck staring at me. "Hey look, I know you're going through something, but we are trying to help. We all care about you and you're well being, we are just worried."

I bit my lip and looked up at him. Sadness in his eyes. "If you want to help me then let me the fuck out of this tower." And with that I left. I went straight to Peter's room and climbed on his desk. The small little box I hid there months ago in plain sight. I took out a couple pills and didn't hesitate to take them. 'Fuckin dicks.' I mumbled under my breath. The large bedroom, I was "gifted", reeked off weed and sex. I rolled my eyes at the thought of fucking anyone else other than myself. I was all I had now. I laid on the messy bed and waited for the pills to kick in. I fought off the urge to cry and suddenly fell back asleep. I hate when I do that. It waste pills.


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strong Content.

"I honestly don't know what to do with her."

"There isn't much we can do." 

"We can let her go." 

Everyone stopped and looked at Peter. He had a sad smile on his face. He didn't understand. Tony put his hand on his shoulder. "Kid you know we can't." Peter's eyes filled up with tears. He was 17, she was the closest person to his age and they have always got along. "I don't understand. She's a genius. She is advanced in everything! Steve trained her once and now she can take him down like nothing! She can make it out there." 

The room grew silent. Tony gave him a hug as Peter cried in his chest. Everyone listened to his sobs. Steve rubbed his head. "Its not like she's prisoner. She has powerful people after her. Insanely powerful. She is working, she has access to every floor, we are making the best out of this that we can."

Peter rubbed his eyes and looked at each person in the room. Even Sam had his trap shut. "She's been in this tower since the attack on Manhattan, since Loki found her. She has been in here for 5 years. If that isn't imprisonment I don't know what is." He walked out slamming the door behind him.

Bucky raised an eyebrow, "What did he do to her?" Buck has only been in the tower for 3 years or less. He is finally able to go on missions and participate. Almost as if he is at home. Then there was her. She had always been a loner. They used to sit in comfortable silence and catch up on movies together. He misses that side of her. He misses hearing her laugh, her ruthless behavior. It was as if she was someone else. He closed his eyes and pushed down the tight coil in his chest.

"She was Loki's favorite. When he was in the darkest part of his mind, he did God awful things to her. When we found you, we were on a mission that had information on her. We have no idea where she came from, her family, nothing. And as we progressed with the mission and on getting you to come with us to take down Hydra, we learned that now Hydra wants her. She was put on lock down by Fury and years later it hasn't been removed. Fury suspects Loki is after her again, even after Thor told him constantly Loki has changed." Nat looked stressed. If anything straight pissed. She was Fury's favorite spy. She thought so highly of him but yet he does this to a child. Nat was torn between her loyalty and her team.

Buck took everything in. A sense of possessiveness bubbling in his chest. He saw himself in her. So much of himself. He saw the loneliness, the longing, the pain. They shared the same therapist. They were on the same healing process. After each mission he would come home to her. He would tell her every little detail he could. He takes pictures of all the places they go for her. The sound of metal filled his ears, his hand clenched tightly around his chair, "So is Fury the only one over her?" His voice sounded tight, strained even.

The team sat silently, some gave him a slow nod. "Then he knows something about her we don't. Maybe even something she doesn't know.There has to be a reason." Tony sighed. "All of us have taken our hit at him. Nat even went through his office and personal files. We have tried our hardest to get her out of here and we haven't given up yet. A year ago..." His voice cracked. He basically raised this kid. He found her and brought her to his tower. He swore to always protect her. Tony bit his lip and ran a hand through his hair. "A year ago she tried to commit suicide. Peter found her, completely lost it, she swallowed so many pills. He dragged her into the bathtub, turned on the water and shoved his fingers down her throat. When I came looking for him, he was crying and soaking wet. But she was alive. Immediately after we sent her back to a different therapist and we have Wanda doing treatments on her." Tony took a moment to calm himself down. He wasn't going to lose it, he needed to be strong. "After that she became even more distant. I know she is on psychiatric medication but her therapist is on my ass cause we can't let her out of here. On top of that I know she started smoking pot. I don't know if its medicinal, but I can see it helps her." He was talking fast now, he was rambling. Tony felt his heart breaking and his eyes stinging. "That kid is like my daughter. And I've been treating her so badly. I don't know what's come over me, it hurts me to see her like this and I just...I don't know how to help her." He put his hands over his face. The hot tears stung his cold hands. Steve rubbed his back as Pepper held his hand. Bucky felt his heart ache. Completely lost for words as he watched Tony break down.

Buck rolled around in his king sized bed. A deep ache in his chest. Not only were his memories haunting him but so was hers. The bond they used to have. The thought of her attempting suicide. The image of Peter shoving his fingers down her throat. The image of her dead on the cold bathroom floored plastered in his mind. Cold metal pressed into his head, he felt so hot. As if he was dying in the desert. The moon hung high in the window, blue light filled his dark room. 'I have to help her. I can't watch her rot. I have to do something.' Buck picked himself up and walked around his room. His human hand rubbing the back of his neck. One memory after another coming to haunt him. He saw her body language. The way she tensed around blood, around violence. Or how she would clench her legs anytime she saw him. He used to tease her about it. Purposely wearing tight shirts and low jeans. He could tell she liked his hips. One time he "accidentally" broke the strings to hold his sweats up, she was drooling over the sight of him, he could have devoured her that day. That was the first time he got a smell of her, the first time he saw her face heat up, the way she ached for him. Buck shook his head, his cock rock hard and aching. With a deep sigh, he ran his hands down his pants.

At around 2 o clock in the morning, she came out. Higher than hell and freshly fucked all over again. She needed a snack. With achy legs she wobbled herself into the kitchen. Digging through the cupboard, taking this and that until she had a large pile of food. 'I can't gain weight might as well enjoy it.' She turned around to see Buck. Pins and needles ran down her back as she jumped in fear. A pair of sweatpants low on his hips and a tight t shirt. She placed her hand over her chest, trying to calm her racing heart. "Jesus H. Christ Buck. I am putting bells on you." A grin spread over his gorgeous face, but she could see something was bothering him. "What is it Buck?"

He rubbed the back of his neck, the shirt tightening in all the right places. A pool of wetness came over her as she silently ogled. He knew this was a bad idea. Maybe it was cause he still horny, letting out a shaky breath he managed to say. "It's been awhile doll." She let out a sigh, bending over to get a can of soda. Her shorts hiking up and exposing herself to him. Buck's mouth practically dropped open, his cheeks heating up.

"Why must you strong people push these so far back?? Some of us are normal fuckin' small. Think about the little people!"

She scooted closer into the cupboard. Her ass on full display as well as her black dripping thong. Oh, she was dripping. Buck shifted from one foot to another, his cock rock hard all over again. Anxiety came over him. He knew he should walk away, "I don't know darlin'. C..Can I ask you somethin'?" She picked herself up, her large blue eyes looking up into his. Her plump lips and soft skin- "When was the last time you were fucked? By a man I mean." This was such a bad idea. She hummed in thought, "I lost my virginity when I was 15 to this piece of shit guy,. It was the saddest thing in all of my life. He had no idea what he was doing yet he slept with so many women. Even as a 17 year old he slept with eight other girls that month, I will never understand. But like, I wasn't horny and he just shoved it in there and had his fun. It was an awful experience. I didn't know who I was or what would happen to me. Then Loki happened and I'm here. I don't see very many people and even if I did they wouldn't fuck me the way I would want." Buck felt a wave of confidence rush over him. He knew how she liked it. He slowly walked up to her, running a finger along the end of her hoodie. She leaned her head back to peer up into him. 

"Why don't I make your fantasies come true darlin?" She gave him a coy smile. "What makes you think I fantasize about you?" A large grin spread on his face. His flesh hand moving down her back in a soothing manner. Her chest pressed into his, he could feel her nipples harden. "Well darlin' I know you get off every single night. I can practically smell that pussy through the walls. It keeps me up at night as I hear the sounds you make. God the sound of you making yourself cum over and over again to me really drives me crazy." She gripped onto his shirt as he whispered into her ear. She was so soft, so sweet. Her lustful eyes looked up at his.He practically growled as she bit his jaw gently. Her hot breath causing goosebumps down his spin. "Come on then solider. What are you waiting for?"

"Be careful what you wish for baby girl."


	3. 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strong Content

Buck wrapped his strong arms around her waist, pressing her into the wall of his bedroom. Her scent filled his lungs as he pressed kisses into her neck. His fingers knuckle deep into her hot core. The wetness practically poured into his hand as he fucked that pussy. Her small arms were so tight around his neck as she whimpered. "God Bucky, God please." Buck laid her down on the bed, pulling his fingers out of her heat. The soft walls tightening around his fingers as he left her. Her dark doll like eyes looked up into him, a need deep within her, one she's never felt before.

His large hands ran down her soft legs, metal and flesh alike. She was so precious. In a swift movement he pulled her pants and thong away from her body. Pale skin shined in the dim light, her mound soft and small. Buck felt his mouth watering. His eyes met hers admiring the blush covering her cheeks. With a grin he lowered himself between her legs, resting her thighs on either side of his shoulders. "Fucking hell darlin, you smell so sweet. Like candy." Her fingers wove into his hair, her mouth opening to speak only to let out a low moan. The first real moan she's ever made before. His hot tongue worked his way around her bundle of nerves, her sweet cream practically flowing into his mouth. Holding back all restraint he played with her small hole, letting his tongue move in and out in a tortuous pace. "Bucky..Bucky. Don't be gentle with me, you know how I like it." His eyes locked with hers.

"If you can't handle it stop me."

She gave him a nod as he drove back into her. Suddenly his tongue was everywhere all at once. Hitting against her clit, slipping so deep into her tight hole. Her body shook with pleasure. Tugging his hair she moaned his name. "James. Oh God. Oh my God." He slipped a thick metal finger into her and felt her come undone. Her body twitched and squirmed into him. Her pussy so fuckin tight around just his finger. His flesh hand gently rubbed up and down her stomach as she came down from her high. Pants fell from her lips as he gently cleaned up her mess. Drinking down her sweet cream, he realized his new addiction. Picking his head up a large grin spread on his wet lips. Her eyes were rolled back and her hair a mess. Large arms moved on either side of her as he pulled himself up. Grinding his bulge against her bare heat. She looked up at him, a sense of pleading in her eyes.

"Say it darlin, say what you want." Her hands moved down his bare chest, grabbing his cock. "I want you to fuck me. I want you to ruin me. I want you to fucking tear me apart. Please James, please fuck me. I need it." He bit a groan, he loved hearing his real name. Without second thought he ripped off the rest of his clothes. He knew he had to he gentle. She hasn't had sex in years, it was like your first all over again. But he really just wanted to fuck her like a mad dog. Bend her over and fuck her into oblivion. He rubbed his angry tip between her soaking soft folds. Her eyes rolled back as she bit her lip. Small hands dug into his back. He pushed himself into her opening and nearly lost it right then and there. He had never felt something so tight before in his life. He watched as he pushed the rest of himself into her, stretching her pussy out for him. Only him. He pressed his forehead to hers as he bottomed out. "You're so beautiful." She wrapped her legs around his waist. He stilled for her, kissing all over her face and lips. "You're so perfect." His flesh hand touched her cheek then slowly moved down to her neck. He kissed her nose.

"You're mine." With that he gave his first thrust. He could feel her cream practically covering both of them. With a deep moan from him he did it again. Rocking his hips into hers he felt her squirm. His eyes admired her hot cheeks and open mouth, her eyes tight from the pleasure. He set out a rough slow pace. Rough enough to please her and slow enough not to hurt her. She pulled him down on top of her, pressing her still clothed chest into his. He listened to her whimpers and small moans. "That's it darlin, take me." Buck picked up his pace, the bed now hitting the wall. Her chest bounced against his, nails tightening into his back. "Fuck James. You fuck me so good." Her voice got higher as he hit that spot. He gripped her hips and pounded into that spot. The sound of skin on skin and the bed rocking into the wall filled the room. She was she practically screaming for him now. Her pussy was getting tighter, his cock swelled as he whispered into her ear. "Are you gonna cum for me? Are you gonna be my dirty girl and cum for me?" He felt hot blood dripping down his back, the slight sting from her claw marks adding to his pleasure. "Yes James. Please, please cum inside me. Please." He bit his lip. His conscience in back of his head telling him it's a bad idea. But as quickly as the thought came it disappeared. Her hot core latched around him, a gush of her cream washed over his length. His body tensed, muscle contracting as he released himself into her. Both of them listened to each other breathing, still conjoined at the hip, Buck kissed her lips softly. His mechanical arm hummed as he placed it on his burning hot forehead, pushing his hair back. She twitched as he pulled out. He couldn't help but watch as that tight hole gushed because of him. 

Without saying a word he walked to the restroom. She laid on his bed, her body hot and the smell of sex heavy in the air. Her hands ran down her neck, still trying to comprehend what just happened. Buck came back with a wet wash clothes, she spread her legs for him as he cleaned her. The cold cloth felt amazing against her skin. "I came inside you." He mumbled. A large grin spread on her face as she giggled, "I have a fetish for it. Don't worry Buck I can't get pregnant." He raised a brow and tossed the wash cloth in the hamper. "Why not?" She put her hands on his cheek. His rough stubble felt delicate able on her fingers. Those innocent like eyes of his, it's hard to believe he was ever used as a weapon. "Loki made sure of it." With those words he new she was done. She hated saying that name, talking about him, hated it all. So he wrapped his arms around her and held her to his chest. She kissed his chin, then within minutes fell asleep. He admired her, running his fingers through her hair, gently touching those lips.

"I never imagined I'd ever be given such a beautiful gift. I thought I'd die at the hands of Hydra and gave up on myself long ago. Even when I came to this tower...I thought one day someone would come in and just kill me. And most days that's what I wanted. But now here I am, laying with the most beautiful girl I've ever seen in my life, in a family I never imagined I'd get to have. Dear God, I don't believe in you anymore, but if you're there I beg you. Please don't let me ruin this." Buck gave her another kiss and let sleep consume him. 

When morning came the first thing she reached for was her box of blunts, but to her confusion her hand hit soft skin. Picking up her head she slowly opened her eyes to see Buck. His dark hair a mess around him, his chest rising and falling peacefully. For a moment she admired him. He was truly beautiful. A sharp jaw and the biggest heart she has ever seen. Slowly but surely her body caught up with her, an aching feeling deep in her hips and thighs. A type of soreness she was used to but not so intense crawled up her body. With a groan she laid back down on the pillow. Anxiety hitting her full force. What the hell was she supposed to do? Okay, bye great sex. Oh, okay let's go see the team! Then she realized the fucking team. Her cold hands rubbed against her forehead as she tried to concentrate. She didn't even know where her clothes were. What if he ripped her underwear like they do in fanfiction? What if he ate her fuckin clothes? Her hands began twitching and she began to panic. What if this ruins their relationship? He was saying some deep shit last night. Things he probably wanted to say for a long time it seems. A chill ran down her spine, what if he doesn't let her go. But does she want him to?

A low groan came from next to her as Buck stirred awake. She quickly closed her eyes as if she was still sleeping. Her heart raced in her ears. Bucky pushed his hair back and got out of bed. He himself not really knowing what to do. He felt nervous. He just slept with his dream girl and said some deep things. Very deep things. Things he only said when he got off. Shaking off the thought he gathered her clothes, folding them nicely at the end of the bed. His eyes moved up her form. She was so beautiful. He picked out some clothes and walked off to shower, when he came back she was gone.


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have to get through the rain before you reach the sun. Strong angst. Safe for Work. Dark themes.
> 
> I feel if anyone were a captive of Loki during his attack on Manhattan, they would have immense damage done to them. Loki was a very bad guy at that time. I also feel that anyone with that sort of pain would rely on drugs and sex to make them forget. Especially as young as she was and definitely in our generation. This is just my thinking process. Maybe this will help some of you that keep wanting to see the good. I promise this journey is a painful one, but will become a beauty.

James sat with his therapist. A stress ball in his human hand. He watched as his doctor wrote things down. He just confessed to his sexual escapade. His doctor had a funny look on his face. He used to be her therapist, but obviously he wasn’t doing it for her. Doctor Penwood had his eyebrows furrowed as he continued to write. 

“How did you feel after you slept with her James? The moment you woke up and remembered she was there, how did you feel?”

“At first I felt guilty. Like I took advantage of her when she was down. When I saw her in the kitchen I knew she was higher than the sky. So immediately, I felt horrible. But when I got her and I saw her in that way..the way she looked at me. The way she begged..it was as if everything was fine. A sudden peace for both of us.”

“Now James, did you do things to her like you did Natasha?” Doctor Penwood raised an eyebrow at him. 

“No no Doc. I was rough with her but not that far. I didn’t hurt her, it was just rough sex. She tore up me actually. I had to pour peroxide down my back.”

Doctor Penwood continued to write more things down. His circle glasses at the end of his nose. “If anything James I am pleasantly surprised. I hypothesized the moment you had sex with a different person, you wouldn’t be able to control yourself. Not because of lack, but because of Natasha. The two of you had a very violent sexual relationship, the fact that the two of you can even work together amazes me. As far as your new lovely lady,” Penwood removed his glasses, his dark eyes staring down into James. “the only thing I can say without breaking confidentiality, is to be careful. Jade is a very...strong woman. She has so many walls and boundaries, the mere thought she had sex with another person is shocking to me. If you want Jade...I can’t promise it will be easy for you. Please think about your mental health as you take this journey. The two of you have come exceptionally far since you’ve come here.”

Buck felt offended but he understood. The doctor was right. Jade had problems, he did too. If he really wanted this to work out they would have to fight them together. Both of their insecurities, self esteem, anxiety. Buck put down his stress ball. 

“What do I do about the team doc? I’ve only been here for three years and I fucked their precious angel. Tony already wants me dead, if he would out I would be dead. Shit, Steve would kill me!” Buck got out of his seat, beginning to pace the room. 

“James, if she feels the same way about you, they wouldn’t put a hand on you. They are protective of her but we both know they want her happy. Calm down you are going to cause a panic attack. Now I recommend taking out all of your emotions, big or little. Their is no telling what your relationship will turn to. I want to make sure your emotions are in check. I also recommend trying breathing exercises again. Those helped a lot last time.”

“Will you take me off missions, Doc?”

“No Buck. This is a life situation. This is something you are going to face one day. I feel as of right now you are in a good place to face this, just take care of yourself.”

Jade sat around with Peter, her legs over his as they watched American Horror Story. Binge watching Netflix was how they connected. She would watch his shit shows until she got so into them she cried with him. Grey’s Anatomy was the biggest mistake. Peter leaned his head back into the couch, a bowl of popcorn next to him. Soda cans littered the coffee table with other various snacks.

“No don’t go down there fella.”

“Turn around. Bloody Face will get you. Ohhhhh what did I tell you? See I warned him.”

Peter made a face at the gory sight. “I love this show but sometimes it’s hard to watch.”

She chuckled at him and moved to get her drink, she twitched in pain, the soreness in her legs nearly took her breath away. Pete raised a brow at her, his eyes filled with concern. He knew her better than anyone. Even her therapist. He knew all her dark times. She was like a sister. “You alright?”

“Yeah just a long night.”

“It was a long night. I kept hearing screaming and banging. Either someone left the TV on again, or Natasha and Bucky are at it again.”

She slowly looked over at Pete, his baby face towards the flat screen. “What are you talking about?”

“Oh when Bucky first came here he was on my floor. They gave him a more...institution like room to help him transition. He had intense therapy sessions just about every day, and he was constantly in the gym. Even back then he and Sam had a thing against me. They hated each other but always loved to tease me. One time I caught him and Nat having a steamy make out session in the shower. I, of course, ridiculed him for it. Everywhere he went I’d bring her up. Because it wasn’t fair to tease me like that, and back then I was super childish. I just wanted to get him back.” Peter let out a deep sigh as his face heated up. “So the way he got back at me was to have super loud sex right against the wall that connected our rooms. It was brutal. One time his bedroom door was open after they fucked, and I swear to God, there was blood on the floor, on the wall. They made huge holes in the walls, the bed frame was broken. I don’t know what they did to each other, but when he was done with her, he was done. I’m not sure what happened but one night I heard arguing. Most of it was in Russian but I know for sure she was crying. The next day I talked to Steve and he knew nothing about it. He told me when Buck was still with Hydra, the used to have a relationship, but that’s all he knew.”

“Why don’t I know anything about this? Who knows this?” A sense of hurt filled her insides. As if he went behind her back. As if he was hers.

“I don’t think anyone knows. Maybe his therapist. Probably Wanda. She knows everything, she’s a telepath. But I know for a fact that it happened. I tried to talk to him about it and he threatened me. So I left him alone. You were on your floor, I thanked the heavens when he got a room change, you didn’t hear anything. Even then you and Buck weren’t close. I didn’t think you’d care for drama, I didn’t want to ruin anything for him. He was doing good after he left Nat.”

Jade ran a hand through his hair, giving him a gentle smile. “You’re a good person.” He gave his shit Tony Stark grin.

"Why do you want to know anyway? I only brought it up to be funny..then I realized I was the only one that knew about it.."

Jade shrugged casually, "I don't know. It sounded interesting. Maybe it will help my future."

"Oh yeah taking Nat down in truth or dare, good luck."

An hour later Jade sat with a SHEILD agent, passing a blunt back and forth. He was a married man, two children and a beautiful wife. She didn’t trust him. He always stared at her to long. But the drug flooding her sense made her not care. She wanted to forget, if she started a hole she will bury herself in it. If she has to sit around with this loser she will. Jade was on her way to her room to smoke anyway.

“Good right?” His high voice made her head hurt.

His bald head and wrinkled face smiled at him. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t even look at him. The rooftop was her favorite place, it was the only piece of the world she claimed as hers. She missed New York. She loved that tower, she loved the view. Cold air ran through her dark hair, she closed her eyes, hugging her knees to her chest. The image of Buck with another woman plastered in her mind. Suddenly she felt a hand on her shoulder, another hand on her thigh, then she felt a body press into her. The smell of man flooded her senses. Not the good kind. 

“Come on baby. You are high and have no idea what’s going on. Just let go.” He pressed a kiss on her jaw. She closed her eyes tightly, a memory coming at her. Loki. Jade shoved the man off her, punching him square into his nose. 

“Get the fuck away from me, jævla gris.”

She gave him a hard kick into the groin then stole his bag of weed. “Jeg hater folk.”

The man groaned and rolled around in pain. "You filthy bitch!"

Jade huffed and puffed her way into her room. Annoyed someone even had the thought to hit on her. Pissed she didn't act quicker. Furious she punched the guy cause then he would rat her out. She stopped in front of her door, tears filling her eyes, her heart felt as if it was shattering, she just spoke Norse. The very language she hated more than anything. Tears fell down her chest and her facade broke to pieces. A sob left her lips, more memories coming back to her. Loki. His dark blue eyes. His ice cold hands. She laid her head on the door, her face hot from the tears. The hallway filling with her cries.

“I hate him.” She whispered as she slammed the door behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jævla gris: Fucking pig 
> 
> Jeg hater folk: I hate people


	5. 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strong content. NSFW. 
> 
> "Every revolution starts and ends with his lips."

The next morning Buck sat with Steve, drinking his coffee over a game of chess. He hasn’t seen Jade in a couple of days. He was starting to worry. Maybe she was avoiding him. He moved one chess piece at a time, then he heard her bare feet on the tile. She was the only one who hated to sleep in socks. Looking up from his game there she was. Her long hair down her back and knotted. One of her thousands of hoodies falling below her bum. He knew she was wearing shorts but that didn’t stop Steve from blushing. He chuckled as his best friend. 

“Stop staring Stevie,”

“You’re one to talk, you could practically devour her.”

Oh he has. Buck fought back the grin, thinking about her laid out for him. He moved another chess piece. Steve continued to peek at Jade’s nicely shaped legs and delicate like skin. He loved Jade everyone did, but know doubt she was becoming a beautiful lady.

“Now who’s trying to devour who?” Buck teased. 

Steve huffed as Jade walked over to their table. Steve fought down his blush and cleared his throat. “Hey Bucky Boo, I need a solid.”

“Need me to reach the poptarts?” He gave her that shit eating grin.

“...no. I can get it if I want to.” She moved from one foot to another, looking anywhere but at Buck.

“Really? Hmm, go get one then.” Jade gave him the look. Buck kept his head down focusing on his chess game. Steve chuckled at the two of them, sipping his coffee. With a loud groan she walked over to the counter. Thor stashed the poptarts up high. Not to keep them from people, but so he could reach them comfortably. That’s just how tall he was. But she was short. “Normally” short. Jade glanced back at Buck, he was watching her highly amused. The three of them were the only ones in the kitchen. Vision already washed dishes and everyone started their day. Without second thought she jumped on the counter, her knees on the cold marble, as she stretched into the cabinet. Buck laughed behind her as Steve shook his head.

“So childish you two. Buck go help her.”

Her hoodie hiked up to her waist, to his surprise she wasn’t wearing shorts. A dark green pair of panties hugged her thin waist. Buck jumped to his best friend and covered his eyes. His flesh hand around his face and his metal arm around his shoulder.

“No no no Stevie, you are to old for a heart attack, I’ll tell you later.” Buck’s eyes never left her frame, cause good God she had a nice ass. He took his lip between his teeth. Jade jumped off the counter and pulled her hoodie down, a poptart already in her mouth. 

“I asked you to help me.” She shrugged, raising her hoodie again and flashing her ass to him. “Come watch movies with me today.” She gave him a wink as his jaw dropped. That just really happened. That 22 year old just flashed a 101 year old man who was covering his best friends eyes. What the hell is going on? He must be dreaming. With his mouth wide open he watched her leave the room.

“Can you let me go now?” Steve mumbled into his friends chest.

Buck let go of his best friend, fixing his blonde hair. “Yeah man, I didn’t think you wanted to see her legs. It was very scandalous.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I’m not a kid anymore Buck.”

“Right.” Steve hit his chest as Buck laughed. 

After lunch Buck made his way to her room. They watched movies in her room cause she stole one of the best TV’s in the entire building. On top of that it was so much more peaceful. They didn’t have to deal with people coming in or out. Or people that wanted to watch. Especially people like Sam who eat loudly, last time Jade threw the remote at him. He had a black eye for a week. 

Buck knocked on her door, preparing himself for the sight he was about to see. He wasn’t sure what got into her today, but he had a feeling she had more tricks for him. She gets like this sometimes. One day she wants to hug him and flirt, then the next day she’s done. He knows he should worry. He knows this usually happens after something bad. But he wanted to enjoy this. 

Jade opened the door and immediately dragged him to the couch. She was still in her hoodie, but she had a pair of thigh high socks on her soft legs. Bucks eyes traveled up and down her form as she set up the TV. Soon enough the screen lit up with color. “I know you don’t usually like modern movies, but I think you’ll like this one. It’s called Bird Box. It has my favorite actress and your favorite actor.”

“Glenn?”

Jade giggled, “And Lana Banana.”

“Lana Banana. I can’t believe you two kids are still on the second season. I finished it within a week.”

“Sh sh, us kids watch it carefully. We are being prepared for the eighth season.”

“Oh yeah good luck.”

Buck tried really hard to pay attention to the movie, he really did. But all these thoughts popped up in his head. Did she like it? Why did she run away? Did he hurt her? Jade used to flash him a couple years ago, she loved watching him blush and cover her up. That was nothing knew. He was thankful for it to because he loved the sight of her. Buck began to bounce his leg. His thoughts racing and his nerves building till finally, “Can we talk about it?”

Jade stopped and looked over at him. “About what?”

“About what we did...I just..I just don’t know how you feel. We..we don’t have to. If you want to go back to friends we can..I just..” A hot blush formed on his cheeks as he looked away from her. “I wanna know how I did..” He cringed as the words left his mouth. 

She placed her hand on his, “Honestly Buck that was the best thing in all my life. Being trapped in this compound, I lost all hope on finding someone. Someone for sex and even a relationship. My self esteem is painfully low. No one wants to sleep with a woman who refuses to take her shirt off. But even then you made me feel...normal. After I didn’t have that feeling of loneliness I didn’t have the urge to do drugs. I felt amazing. But when I woke up, I panicked. I didn’t mean to run away. I just got scared...I really don’t want to fuck this up Buck. I don’t want to lose you.”

Buck held her small hand and gently pulled her close. She laid her head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her, “Look darlin, let’s work on you. You’ve been fighting your battles all by yourself for way to long. Let me help you. Let me show you how beautiful you really are. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. But please, use me in every way that will help you.”

Jade took in his words, his heartbeat calming her down. “So you’re saying let’s...like friends with benefits..to help the both of us? I see what you’re saying and I appreciate everything you’re doing for me but Buck...I just don’t know.”

“I don’t want to push you into anything. But if holding you at night, fucking away your feelings, or even making a meal for you helps you. Please let me darlin. This entire team feels like it’s going to lose you. If I can do something, or if one of us can do something, let us.” 

The room was quiet for a long time. 

Jade looked up into his eyes, she ran her fingers through his dark hair. “I want to do this. I want you to help me. I want to be the person I used to be. But before we do, we need to get real with each other. I don’t want either of us to commit and we both find out we are strangers.” 

Buck sat up, pulling her into his lap. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he placed his hands on her thighs. “Ask me anything. I will be completely honest.”

“What happened between you and Natasha? What did you do to each other?” 

“Natalia and I met when I was still the Winter Soldier. I trained her to be the way she is. Back then she became infatuated with me and we started a relationship. Of course I didn’t feel anything, I just loved the sex. But being the monster I was..I got very violent. Natalia loved it. She begged me to do things to her, she craved the bruises I left her. Looking back, the things I did was barbaric. I hate what I did to her, I don’t even know how I got off to it.” Buck paused to think. His blue eyes filled with sadness. “When I came to the compound, our relationship continued. At first it was amazing. Just to have a woman's touch was a blessing. But as time went on I realized she didn’t care for me..she loved the soldier. I was furious and betrayed, so I told her it was over. I couldn’t do this. It took a long time but finally Natalia and I have a stable relationship. Sometimes we even talk about the past. She isn’t hurt by it and I’m not either. We never told the team in fear they would send me away.”

Jade furrowed her eyebrows, her hands tangled in his hair. “I could tell you were holding yourself back. I don’t want you to do that anymore. I want to see you for you. You’re not the soldier anymore, you’re James. And God damn James knows what he’s doing.”

“Can you handle that?” Buck grinned at her. 

“You can’t hurt me, no one can.”

Buck gave her a gentle kiss, picking her up as he did so. Her arms tightened around his neck, her small self already grinding into his abdomen. He chuckled as he carried. His large hands moved from the back of her thighs to her nicely shaped ass. Laying her down on the bed, he kissed down her neck. He forgot how soft she was, how small. Without thinking he ran his hands up to her hoodie, pulling it up as he went. Jade whimpered in displeasure, but Buck couldn’t help himself. She was so fuckin soft, she smelled so good. He latched onto her neck, her sharp nails dug into his shirt. A small moan leaving her lips. His flesh hand rested on her rib cage, just below the swell of her breast. His metal hand moved down to the waistband of her panties. 

“Now your little game this mornin was cruel. Showing yourself off like that. Infront of fuckin Steve. I bet you got all hot and wet from that, hm? I bet you ran back in her and fucked yourself raw didn’t you?” Jade bucked into his hand, her thoughts clouded with lust, her body heating up. “Tell me my dirty girl, have you fucked metal before?” Buck pulled away from her neck, looking up at her flushed face. She bit her lip and shook her head. “Then today is your lucky day doll.” Buck moved her panties to the side, rubbing her slick hot opening. He couldn’t feel how wet she was, but he could hear it. It took him a long time to trust his metal arm. But after trial and error he finally felt confident with it. 

 

Jade gasped at the coldness, his metal arm was freezing. She pressed herself into him, looking up into his lustful eyes as he pushed in a metal digit. Her eyes rolled back and her mouth fell open. She spread her legs wider as he started to move. The sound of her soaking core filled the room. The TV mumbling in the background. She couldn’t believe it felt this good. Buck watched her as he easily fucked her with his fingers. He started to push his fingers in deeper, adding another finger to stretch her out. He picked up his pace, “That’s it baby girl. You like what I do to you?” Jade bit her lip as he pounded into her, moments later she latched around him only to have him pull away. His cold metal digits left her with a deep need in her abdomen. 

Her confused eyes locked with his dark ones as she whined. Buck pulled his hands away from her and crawled off the bed. Loving the sight in front of him. Her pale skin was flushed red, her legs spread showing her dripping needy core, and her eyes telling him to fuck her already. She leaned herself back into the bed, her legs still spread open. “James.” She called to him. “Please, please. I want to..” Buck hummed as he pulled his shirt off. “You want to what darlin?” Jade looked over at him, squirming in discomfort. “I want to cum James.” He pulled off the rest of his clothes, his naked glory for the world to see. “Really? Doesn’t sound like it.” Buck stood in front of the bed, watching her pout at him. “James please. Please fuck me. Please let me cum on your cock. I need it.” She ran her hands down her thighs, spreading her lips for him to see. Buck growled at the sight. “Yeah you need it alright darlin.” He crawled on the bed between her legs, his cock now painfully hard. He rubbed the hot tip against her folds, bending down to kiss her nose as he pushed it in. She was so wet. So fuckin wet. It was as if she was tighter than last time. This time Buck didn’t wait. He started out a hard pace, snapping his hips into hers, over and over again. Jade dug her nails into his, arching her back and taking all of him. Buck picked up her left leg putting it on top of his shoulder. His thrust got harder, she began to see stars. He watched as his cock pushed in and out of her. A sight he was obsessed with. “That’s it sweet girl. You take me so good.” He dug his metal hand into the flesh of her thigh. His flesh hand pulling up her hoodie to watch her breast bounce. That was the best thing he had ever done. He never realized what mind blowing tits she had. Just the right size for him, he let her leg drop so he could attack her chest. Taking her soft nipples into his mouth. She wrapped her legs around his waist, digging her heels into his back. Her hands tangled into his hair. “Oh God James. Don’t stop please don’t stop.” A couple of brutal thrust later she came on his thick cock, her cream covering his length, he felt his eyes roll back. Buck let go over her nipple to leave a hickey on her breast. Emptying himself inside her as he did. Jade caught her breath beneath him, her hands letting go of his hair. He kissed the dark hickey on her chest. Sweat covered them both, sweat and cum to be exact. He pulled his now soft cock out of, watching her creamy mess below him. Jade had her eyes closed, high from sex. 

“This was an amazing idea.”

Buck chuckled looking down at her upper half. He didn’t understand why she hated it. She has the most beautiful breast he has ever seen. Then he saw it. A large scar ran under her right breast. A horrible spot for a scar. That was nothing but bone. The scar was deep and raised, a light pinkish color to it. Jade caught him staring and couldn’t help but sigh.

“Come on handsome. I need a shower, I’m covered in cum and sweat. And I don’t know which is mine.”

Buck followed her to the shower, watching her panty clad ass as she walked. A sense of possessiveness overcoming him. As the bathroom filled with steam he looked at her belongings. Tony gave her every little thing she wanted. He would give her his credit card and let her go as crazy as her little heart desired. She had high end skin scare, some of the most expensive makeup he has ever seen. She had the brightest diamonds. He remembers the first party he saw her at. Jade wore the most daring white dress, a slit running up her pale legs, her hair curled into a tight bun. At only 19 she was the most stunning woman he had ever seen. She held herself with so much confidence. Something she only showed to the public. 

Jade pulled off her hoodie standing before Buck completely naked. She held up her dark green panties, the silk fabric practically ripped in half. He gave her a shit eating grin, “I’ll buy you a some more.” His dark eyes swallowed her up. Jade had a small pair of breast. She was just a little over a C-Cup, according to Victoria Secret, she hated her chest. Not only because of her scar but because she always looked flat. But thank the Lord because she had an ass, it was one of the only things she felt confident in. As well as her nicely shaped legs. People always gave her compliments on her legs. 

Jade combed through her long dark hair, pushing it over to the side. Giving Buck a sad look, she turned her back to him. Buck felt his heart ache, her back was filled with various scars, the lower you go the worse it is. “They are such a bitch to hide sometimes. The first time I showed Pete he cried on me. Bruce is trying to find something for me. Something to make them go away. But I don’t really care. I am not ashamed of my past, I just need to get over it already.” James walked up to her, his large hands gently touching a deep scar on her lower back. He pressed a kiss to her shoulder. His arms wrapping around her waist. “Tell me all the things you hate about your body.” Her hand held his as she closed her eyes. 

“My chest is small but my thighs are big. It seems like it doesn’t matter what I do, my thighs don’t get smaller. I’ve tried every workout, I’ve tried every diet. I don’t feel bad about my stomach..I just feel….un-proportional. Like my body doesn’t work out. On top of that I’m covered in scars. The worst one being below my chest. The rest of them I can’t see, so I ignore them.” Jade grabbed Buck’s hand and pulled him into the shower, the hot water leaving a sting down his back. She put her arms on his chest, her fingers lightly tracing his own scar. “Loki had a thing with knives. Extremely sharp knives. I don’t know if his goal was to break me or what. But it seems about everyday he cut me. I would wake up and he would already have one to my back. The deeper they are the more angry he was. One time he told me to stay in this room. By this time the Avengers were already in the building. Natasha managed to get me out of the room only to have Loki push me back in. He was so mad. So he cut me where it hurts the worst. Right on your rib cage. I don’t wish that pain for anyone. But ten minutes later Tony Stark was carrying me into the Quinjet.”

Jade pressed kisses to his chest. Buck sat in silence, thinking about what hell she really went through. He pressed a kiss to her nose. 

“I’ll always be here to protect you. I’ll never let anyone hurt you not ever again.”

“Well if you want to take care of me, you can start by cleaning up your damn mess.” Jade gave him a large grin. 

“You say that like you don’t enjoy my mess.” Buck pressed her into the cold shower wall, picking her up with ease. “My dirty girl.” Her hands ran through his wet hair, kissing his soft mouth. 

“I’ll take care of you sweet girl.”


	6. 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strong Content. NSFW.
> 
> "They called him daddy for a reason."

Buck woke to something sweet. He could practically feel it on his tongue. Like honey but sweeter. He liked his lips as he shook away his sleep. A soft purr came from his side, looking down a smile formed on his lips. Jade was curled into him, her hair a chaotic mess around her. One of Buck’s shirts on her sleeping form. Then he realized where that smell was coming from. He bit his lips as he looked down at her panties, a wet spot already formed over her mound. Buck felt his morning hard on tighten, rubbing a hand over his cock to relieve his pain, he rolled on top of her. He watched her face contort in pleasure. A soft whimper leaving her lips. She was having a wet dream, and Lordy she didn’t disappoint. Buck put both her legs around his waist, the fabric of his shirt tight around her chest. Carefully with his flesh hand he pressed a finger between her lips, her body twitched and her hips arched into his finger. A large grin spread over his face, sliding a finger into her panties, he gently pulled them down her legs. Stuffing the soaked material in the pocket of his sweatpants. He was definitely gonna need that. With his metal hand he ran a finger down her stomach, she flinched at the coldness, a whimper leaving her lips. His other hand picked up her right leg, resting it on his shoulder. Biting his lip, he looked down at her opening. He has seen her dripping but she was fuckin flooding. Buck rested his metal hand on her stomach, leaning down he put his mouth on her. Jade twitched as Buck swallowed her cream. His tongue played with her clit. She felt so hot, he pushed his face deeper between her legs. He couldn’t get enough of her. He ran his tongue down to her hole, pushing it in he heard her moan. Looking up his eyes locked with hers. Dark hair framed her face, small hands tangled in his hair. “Jesus H. Christ Buck. You are sleeping in my bed more often.” 

Buck smirked as he shoved his tongue in and out, her hole tightening around him as he held her hips down. The small woman beneath him squirmed and moaned as he assaulted her tight hole. His nails dug into his skull, gently pulling at his hair. “God James. Oh, God.” His eyes traveled up to her again, hard nipples poked through her shirt. Her eyes were rolled back and her mouth was open. Buck moved his flesh hand to her clit, rubbing her tight bundle of nerves as he made her come undone. Jade bit her lip as she came into his mouth. He cleaned her mess and gave a kiss to her swollen clit. The minute he picked his head up, she attacked him. Her lips clashing into his, Buck chuckled as she latched around him. Her legs wrapped around his waist. Nails dug into his back as he squeezed her ass. “James, James fuck me.” She whimpered between kisses, her hands slipping underneath his sweats. “Please, please.” 

Then there was a knock on the door. 

A fuckin knock on the door. 

James turned around to look at the door, hoping no one would open in. Jade kissed his neck ignoring whoever was at the door. She grabbed his cock, pumping the length underneath his sweats. His eyes rolled back as another knock rang throughout the room. 

“Hey Jade, is Bucky in there?” 

Of course. Of course it was fucking Steve. Buck growled as he pulled her hands away from him. “No no baby. We can’t get caught.” Jade gave him a pouting look as he laid her on the bed, quickly covering her up with a blanket. “Be good and I’ll fuck your little heart out.” On quiet feet he walked himself to the couch, laying down on his stomach. Careful to not hurt his raging hard on. The door handle slowly turned as Buck closed his eyes. 

He was gonna beat Steve’s ass. 

A blonde head poked into the dark room, the smell of sex heavy in the air. Not that Steve could identify it. Slowly walking into the room he saw his friend on the couch. Claw like markings down his bare back. Little crescent marks into his shoulder. Steve raised a brow as he looked over at the girl. He could hear her heartbeat racing. On quiet feet he walked over to his friend. Buck didn’t move but he could sense his presence. Steve bend down to whisper in his friends ear, “Fuck her for both of us.” Bucky nearly lost it. “Take care of her Buck. Maybe what she needs is a man in her life. Oh and next time, cover up the bloody marks down your back. It looks like she tore you up more than you did her.” He laid still until Steve was out of the room and the door closed with a click. He wasn’t sure how to feel. He knew Stevie had a crush on her, but he didn’t think it was that big. Thoughts filled his head as he got off the couch. 

Jade sat up in her bed, “What did he say to you?”

Buck grinned walking to the bed, watching as her eyes moved up and down his body. “Just to meet him in the training area later today.” Crawling on the bed he tore the blanket off her. “You were a bad little girl.”

“Maybe that’s the way I am.”

He grabbed her leg, pulling her towards him. “Or maybe I haven’t been fucking you the way I should.” Grabbing both her hips he flipped her onto her stomach. The sight of her bare ass making him bite his lip. He smacked her fat ass pulling her hips up to meet his. Jade looked back at him wiggling her self on his cock. He grinned at her, reaching down his pants for his gifted buddy. “I’ve created a monster.” Pushing it into her opening he watched her shudder. She was so much better this way. Her back arched, ass in the air, filled with his cock. Buck wrapped his flesh hand around her throat. His hips snapping into hers, hard and fast. His thick cock dipping into her opening again and again. The sound of skin on skin filled the room. Buck tightened his grip on her throat, fucking her into the mattress.

Steve sighed as he watched the screen. They put cameras in her room after her suicide attempt. He and Tony were the only ones who had access to it. Even then Tony never watched it. It hurt him to see her like this. Well not being fucked from behind, he would have a heart attack, but watching her pity. So he got Steve. The blonde rubbed his forehead, as he watched his friend. As he watched Bucky fuck her life out. He heard rumors about how rough he was, especially in the 40’s. Susan couldn’t walk at all after Buck was done. Goosebumps raised on his skin as Bucky grabbed her by the hair. Steve closed his eyes, his own cock hardening. He knew this was wrong. So, so wrong. Her cries filled his ears as they finished. He noticed Buck didn’t pull out. God dammit Buck. He was really trying to ruin everything. Closing his laptop Steve went to take a cold shower. 

Jade laid in a pile of sweat, “Bloody hell. Maybe I’ll be a bad girl more often.” Buck laughed pressing a kiss to her lips as he got up. “Do you have anymore of my clothes?” She pointed to her drawer. “Of course I do.” On aching legs he got off the bed. Opening said drawer, his eyes nearly popped out. A ray of toys lay in front of him, she had all kinds of toys. Dildos of all size, some that vibrate, nipple pinchers, chockers. On the other side of the drawer was another pair of his sweatpants. He took them with a random shirt. “Good Lord Jade.” He mumbled under his breath. 

“Yeah when I do laundry I steal what I like. I stole a shit ton of Nat’s lingerie, some of Wanda’s but hers are more..subtle. That’s not my thing, if I have to wear a bra it will look good.” 

Buck wrapped his fingers around a small vibrator, slipping it between the clothes. He watched her walk off into the shower as he found her soaked panties from earlier. The fabric still soaked from her juices. He quickly hid that as well, her voice making him jump. “If you can’t find any, Steve’s shirts are around there somewhere. He secretly buys Captain America t shirts to sleep in, its adorable.” He smiled at the thought of his best friend. He was still little Stevie. 

Walking into the meeting room, he took his seat next to Steve. No one was certain why they were here. Tony started the meeting, sweat dripping down his face. “Alright guys, so I have some news. Thor is here. He is currently devouring all our food. But he is here. I’m not sure if any of you remember.” He paused thinking carefully. “After um... Loki he went straight home. He never saw Jade, knew about her but he didn’t know we took her in. He thought she was able to go home where she came from. When Thor arrived...he told me about her. Loki told him everything. He hasn’t told me anything. He just asked me about her. If you guys all agree..if you guys think it will help her...Thor will tell her..but first he is telling us.”

With that Thor walked in, poptart crumbs in his beard. “Hello friends.” He took a seat at the front of the table. Buck looked at him carefully and Thor looked back at him. This was the mighty Thor, he was huge. More beast than man. “My brother found this little lady in Germany. He said he was looking for something and came across a manor. It was some sort of celebration and she was the daughter of a wealthy family. Loki watched her for a long time. He claims he watched her take pills and smoke some..thingy. In his delieued mind he decided to teach her a lesson. A lesson to make her more grateful. So he walked into the mansion and slaughtered everyone but her. But she wasn’t afraid. It was like she didn’t even care, but he took her anyway. Within a week of trying to break her she was the same. He didn’t understand. So he got more and more forceful. He then began to do some experiment. He wanted to see just how much weaker humans were than us. It still didn’t work. Finally losing his temper he began to use magic on her, after that she was his. Using magic on humans is never good. It has long term effects. Any other realm it’s like nothing but here, deep psychological effects.”

“What’s her last name?” Buck mumbled. 

“Evans.” 

“Fuck.” With a deep sigh he leaned his head back. “When I was the Winter Soldier, HYDRA was after the Evans. Her father was some sort of doctor and her mother was a scientist. Both of them worked for HYDRA at some point. It ran in the family. I know for a fact they were very greedy people. They never wanted a child, their work was their child. Doc stitched me up a couple times, telling me stories about his deadbeat druggie daughter. He would bitch to me cause they would brainwash me. When HYDRA found out they were dead, they sent me to find their daughter. I don’t know why they wanted her but they did.”

“That also explains why HYDRA had information on her.” Natasha chimed in. “When I went through her files most of them were from HYDRA. They had scans of her body, psychic reports, everything was super detailed. But even then her last name wasn’t on there.” 

“That’s because she was under the Evan’s file. HYDRA had thousands of people under the same name so they figured out a system until the technology advanced. The only reason I can say I remember is because I saw a picture of her as a child. It just didn’t click till right now. Germany was one of my favorite places that time of year.”

“When I do treatments on her I...I feel darkness most of the time. I just thought it was the lasting effect of Loki’s magic. But maybe it’s not. I can work around it very easily, it doesn’t try to kick me out. I’m not sure what it is.” Wanda’s thick accent sounded worried. Her hands were shaking. “I’ve seen some of her darker thoughts before..they aren’t pleasant. Much much scarier than the soldiers.”

Everyone grew silent at the sight of the young lady. For the first time in a long time, she was wearing a t shirt. One of Tony’s of course. A pair of black skinny jeans on her nice legs. Her long hair combed and down her back. Buck felt his heart racing, a smile on his lips. Wanda gave him a look in the corner of his eye. She walked into the room giving Tony a kiss on the forehead. “Hey Pops, I’m going for a walk with Vanessa. Can Bucky come with us? We want to go to the gun range again.” Tony looked over at him, then to everyone else. “Fine but only if you and Vanessa promise me you’ll be careful. Oh and make sure to drop off your thoughts on the new suit, email me when you’re done with it.” Buck got up from his seat, giving Steve a pat on the shoulder. “Yes Pops. I will be safe and I’ll send it to you.” 

Thor looked at his friends. “Well he seems to be very close to Lady Jade.”

“They’ve always been that way. They have the same personality.” Steve explained. 

Wanda and Thor exchanged looks. They saw something no one else did. The was his eyes lit up, the way he bit his lip. The way she swayed her hips purposely. Wanda could hear his thoughts. His very disturbing dirty thoughts. 

“Do you worry about the Lady?”

“Oh God no. She isn’t afraid of anything. She’s knocked out every boy that’s ever looked twice at her, besides Buck is like 100. On top of that if Buck touches her I’d knock him out. No one is gonna get with my fuckin daughter.” Tony bitched in his dad voice.

Buck pressed her up against the wall, her legs around his waist. He couldn’t help himself, she was so fuckin sweet. She was so addicting. Her hands tangled into his hair as he popped the button of her jeans. “You’re gonna be the death of me darlin.”

“What a lovely way to die.” The sound of footsteps made him pull away. “Let me show you something.” He raised a brow as he put her down. Following her into a closet, he watched her climb onto an old bookcase. The room was filled with cleaning supplies, old tables, a broken chair. Even a shattered mirror hung crooked on the wall. Jade rummaged through a bunch of junk and pulled out a small box. 

“I came here with this thing around my neck.” She held up a gold chain with a dark emerald jewel. “Do you think Thor could tell me where it came from? Or why shit face would give it to me.”

Buck took it into his flesh hand. For a small necklace it felt heavy. The gem shined in the dim light. It matched her eyes. He could see why a psychopath would give it to her, or why anyone would give it her. It stood out on her pale skin and made her green eyes sparkle. “I don’t know, you don’t think it’s from...our realms or whatever? It’s hard to grasp all this outer world bullshit doll. Just 70 years ago our enemies were people. Stevie’s has caught me up on everything but even then it’s just…” Jade put her hands on his cheek, giving him a small kiss. “I know Buck. I’ve wanted to show someone for a long time. I just didn’t want them to take it from me. It makes me feel...safe..” Buck kissed her nose. “I understand darlin. When you’re ready you tell us.”

Jade put the gold necklace into her back pocket. “Thanks Buck.”

After Thor finished the meeting with his friends, he went right back to the kitchen. The lady witch was stirring something in a pot as he reached for more snacks. “Don’t eat anything, I’m making dinner.” Her accent was beautiful. He has heard many accents in his days, he always loved the ones that came from Earth. He admired the small woman, “If you insist Lady. I must say I love your Midgardian accent. It’s beautiful.” Wanda gave him a smile. “Thank you Thor. I’ll take you to my home sometime. The countryside is beautiful this time of year.” Thor snuck another poptart into his trousers and quickly shuffled out of the room. He has never been in this..new home before. He was only in the tower a couple times, mainly for business. His buff figure filled the hallway making it seem small to him. His god like ears picked up the sound of giggles. He stopped between this hallway and another, more giggles filled his ears. Like little bells. Following the sound he found a cracked door. He slowly walked to the opening, careful not to be heard. Poking his head in he nearly dropped dead. The brown haired man from earlier was pressing Lady Jade into the wall, her shirt lay on the floor as the man kissed her neck. Thor felt his mouth drop open. The much bigger man was putting his hands down her pants. She laughed and kissed his nose. 

“Be quick before Steve comes back. We can’t get caught.”

Well you have. Thor pulled himself away from the sight, thinking of his options. Footsteps echoed in his ears. Looking up Steve walked with Nat, flirting once again. He bid her goodbye then turned in Thor’s direction. In panic the God walked to him. “Hello Sir America, may I talk to you about something?” 

Steve looked at him surprised. “Of course Thor what is it?” 

Quickly he turned them around so he could face the door. Steve chuckled looking behind him but Thor grabbed his face to look back at him. “Yes you see. I need..woman advice.”

“Oh well Tony or even Bucky is better with that kind of stuff.”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“Oh well um…” Steve looked up to him. “Listen to her problems ya know? That always helps women stay comfortable. They always like to feel safe. Don’t touch them to much, they really don’t like that. Don’t assume what drink they would like. If they drink to much always walk them home especially if there partner is drunk. But don’t walk inside, they don’t like that either.” 

Thor nodded his head, watching as the couple crept out the room behind him. Buck gave him a smile, a thank you. He would have to talk to that man. “Oh and don’t touch their hair. They don’t like that either for some reason..” Thor scratched his head, not sure what to do. “Thank you so much, Sir America but I just remembered...Tony...Tony…” He ran off leaving Steve very confused. A feeling of guilt in his chest that he quickly shook off. He would have to get him a girlfriend. 

Following the young couple he walked into the game room. Jade sat on the couch, a movie playing on the screen. Buck watched him come in, getting up to greet him. He held his hand out for Thor to shake. “Thank you so much. My name is James but everyone calls me Bucky.” Thor shook his head, “God of Thunder, Thor Odinson.”

“It’s nice to meet you. Steve told me so much about you.”

“Did he tell you I beat his ass?”

“No he says he beat yours.”

“Yeah well he can tell his maidens that, he will need it. Please my friend get that man a girlfriend."


	7. 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Strong Angst. 
> 
> "The Wicked King takes what belongs to him. The Wicked King always wins."

When morning hit, she couldn’t believe it. Jade stayed up all night with Buck until both of them passed out from exhaustion. Her whole body ached in a way she was beginning to love. Buck kissed all over her face as they both got ready for the day. They both knew this was getting out of hand. The strings were already attached and neither of them wanted to end. But despite the fear of losing each other, they didn’t stop. Buck kissed her nose as he escorted her to the dining room. Once both of them entered they acted as if everything was fine. Even with the dull ache in her chest. Fear was in here. She couldn’t lose Buck, she wouldn’t survive. Feelings she never understood were coming over her. Feelings she should have already experienced. Jade felt as if she was being watched. She was in a room full of people that should be normal but it was so intense. As if someone was in her head.

Wanda had her head down as she rummaged through the young girls thoughts. Tears pricked her eyes. Wiping the tears before they fell, she got out of her head. But she didn’t pick herself up. Jade’s questioning gaze was on her. Vision held her hand as they murmured quietly. 

The rest of the team talked to themselves, then Steve walked in. He was still in his pajamas, his blonde hair scattered amongst his head. He looked tired. As if he went back and fought World War ll all over again. His hands were shaking as he held up a emerald necklace. 

“Guys I don’t know what this is. Or how it got in my room..” He stopped, lost for words. Thor sat in the back, his eyes lighting up. The God shook his head as he closed his mouth. 

“Does anyone know what this is? Or who it belongs to?”

No answer.

Wanda ran her thumb other the green orb, “It radiates power. Sei _ ð _ r to be percices. It’s not from our realm. It’s from Asgard.” 

All eyes were now on Thor.

“I couldn’t give you an explanation my friends. I can tell you it was made by Loki. No doubt. When mother was teaching him magic, it was one of the first spells he managed to conquer. Of course he put his own trick into it. The one he gave mother had a memory of the two of them in it...back when we were just boys..back when mother was still alive…” 

“So there is a message in...that thing?” Peter looked at everyone. 

“Yes. It can either be revealed with magic, our own of course, or some sort of emotion. Loki planned his tricks very precisely. When you wear the object you would have to feel a certain way. Thus summoning the message. Mothers was when she was baking. It always gave her great joy to work with the ladies.”

“Can you do Asgardian magic?” Tony said bluntly. 

“One spell. But it takes so much out of me. I’d be wiped out for the rest of the day. Asgardians are three times more powerful than we are and it’s only a basic spell.” 

“Do you think you can handle that?” 

“Do we really want to know?” Nat called out. Her voice was laced with annoyance. She just got back from a mission. All she wanted was a calm morning. The pounding headache didn’t help either. “What if it’s something sick? Like Thor said, Loki was in a very dark state of mind. None of us really know just how dark he went. Only Jade would and she doesn’t talk about it. Let’s just give it to Thor so he can take it back where it belongs.” Her sweaty palms pressed into her hairline. 

“But what if it’s about the attack? What if it’s why he did it?” Steve tried to reason. “What if these are the rest of the answers we need? Maybe some of us still need closure.” He caste a sympathetic glance to Tony and Jade. He knew that Tony was haunted by something. He can see the paranoia in him. The advancements, the upgrades. Tony was getting ready for something. 

“If this is some sort of confession, we need Fury. If I get him here. Wanda, can you open the stupid message?” Nat took two more ibuprofen. She was gonna need it. 

“Yes I can. But we need to do it quick. I only want to waste one day in bed not two.”

 

Buck followed Jade back to her room. He could hear her heart racing, her hands were shaking. The minute the door closed his arms were around her. “Sh, sh, darlin. Calm down.” Buck placed his hand over her heart. His lips pressing into her cheek. “Darlin, everythin is alright. Ya just gotta breathe.” Jade relaxed. Letting out a shaky breathe one after another. “You’re safe. You’re fine. We are gonna listen to that message and bury the hatchet. Maybe this is what ya need to move on doll.” Jade fought off a panic attack. Taking in his words. After a few moments her body relaxed. “Thanks Buck. Let’s do this and move on. After today, I don’t want to think about him again. Say his name, nothing. I want him out of my head and out of my life.”

 

“After today, I promise he is just a shadow of your past. I’ll always protect you, I told you once and I’ll tell you forever.”

 

Jade and Bucky walked together to the team. Fury sat in one of the leather chairs, a beer in his hand. Clad in his usual leather he gave Jade a smile. Seeing her always made him smile. Even though he saw Tony in her, she still made him smile. 

“I must say your reports recently have been outstanding. They are easy to read and in so much detail. Thank you for lending us a hand.”

Jade smiled. He was like the step dad dick. Protective and caring but a dick. “No problem. I like doing work for you. It keeps me thinking.” 

As the room filled up Natasha closed the blinds. She had a feeling she had some sort of concussion, her headache hasn’t gone away yet. Her legs even hurt. Bouncing back wasn’t anything like this. She always bounced back like nothing. Maybe that Italian Gang really pulled one on her. Looking over her shoulder, she caught sight of Buck. She admired his long hair and dark jeans. They clung to those thighs in all the right ways. Those thighs that drove her crazy and that metal arm. Good God he knew how to use it. Taking her seat she tried to fight back those thoughts. That was over. It was over. He wasn’t the soldier.

Then she saw it. 

The way his eyes looked at her. The way he bite his lips as she bent over. The way he smiled at her. And the way she looked back at him. There was a passion she had never seen before. Not even as her soldier. Her heart cracked slightly. He was after Jade. She knew this would happen. Ever since that little witch put her hands on him. But Natasha had an advantage. She knows everything that happens in this tower.

Wanda stood in front of the room. A couple books surrounding her, two dead roses, a strand of Thor’s hair, and a tear from a human. Don’t ask how she got it, she doesn’t know. She just hopes it’s a tear. “Now before I get started. I need to explain.” Wanda looked at all her friends. Nat’s negative thoughts running through her head. Her brows furrowed in confusion. Her dear friend dragging herself down into a hole.  “N-Now this spell is basic for Asgardian’s. But extremely complex for us. I need complete silence. It won’t take very long. But when the message appears please remain calm. No matter how difficult it may be. Any slight change in the environment will make it disappear. On top of that I will speak Old Norse. I am not fluent. But we just need the words to come out of my mouth. This spell is older than Thor. I’ve study their magic ever since I got my own. Please trust me and whatever happens do not worry.” She surveyed the room. Fury and Tony were drinking. Not a bad idea. Peter, Jade and Bucky were on the couch. Steve stood behind Nat who was in a recliner. Thor was eating his poptarts. Sam and Clint were still on missions. Perfect. This should go swell. Natasha was starting to come down. Everything should go fine.

Taking a deep breathe, she started. First she threw in a strand of Thor’s hair, a teardrop of a human, then she crushed the dead roses. “ Husk meg, jeg husker deg. Elsker meg, jeg elsker deg.” Next she closed her eyes, the emerald in her hands. Suddenly a beautiful green emerged from the gem. The message finally for everyone to see. 

 

_ Loki sat in an empty room. He was beat to high hell. Blood was dripping down his face. Cuts were all over his bare chest. “ _ _ If you were to turn into a snake tomorrow and begin devouring humans….and from the same mouth you started devouring humans, you cried out to me 'I love you,' would I still be able to say "I love you" the same way I do today?” He raised a shaky hand to his lips. His fist pooling blood, his knuckles torn apart. His shaky voice making him feel weak. But this wasn’t about him.  “I am sorry. I broke my promise. I left you alone. I left you here...all alone...forgive me my dear. You are my rose, on this realm of thorns.” Suddenly shouting was heard in the background. The sound of footsteps, so many of them. Loki gave a sad glance. His eyes that beautiful green shade. “The Wicked King with the Cheshire Grin..will fall in the ashes. You my dear will not fall anytime soon.”  _

 

Then he was gone. 

 

Buck sat there dumbfounded. That was Loki. He was nothing like he pictured in his mind. If anything he wasn’t that bad looking. Not nearly as handsome as him of course. But honestly..Loki seemed so small. If he was meant to be a God he didn’t understand it. Looking over he held Jade’s hand. That message was for her no doubt. He could see it in her eyes. They looked haunted, far away. Jade felt her eyes prick with tears. Memories attacking her all at once. She squeezed Buck’s hand as she heard Wanda fall to the ground.

 

_ “Yes but you see my dear. I am the Wicked King with a silver tongue and lies to the heavens. I am a bad man. You my sweet maiden, will be devoured. You have nothing to face me.” He stalked around her. His long golden horns shined in the moonlight.  _

 

_ “Looks can be deceiving. People can turn into snakes when the moment comes. When that bad day turns into a nightmare. People are monsters. If you want to burn the world down, please do it. Before we do it ourselves.” His cat like grin spread on his handsome face.  _

 

_ “You will be a beautiful Queen.” She took his hand. _

 

Jade put her hands onto her forehead. Buck rubbed her back, concern written all over his face. Vision held Wanda in his arms, taking her to their room. “I have no idea what that was. Or who he was talking to. I have no clue. If anything it only raised more questions.” Tony grabbed another beer. 

“I told you to just let Thor take it. Look what it did! It caused more hurt. More agony.” Nat bitched as she crossed her arms. Her emotions all hitting her at once. She was calm for the message but she was done.

“Now hold on. What he was saying was in code. It was in a way that only one person could understand. Maybe to that one person it gave them some sort of closure.” Steve jumped in. He truly believed this did good. His heart ached of course, it seems as if Loki spilled his heart out. It looked as if that was the most emotion he had ever shown. 

Jade held her head down. She could feel a heated glare on her. A glare that bubbled up her insides. “If you wanna fuckin say something say it. Say it to my fuckin face and get it out of your system.” Suddenly the room was ice cold. The only thing to fear with that little girl was the devil she had in her, that temper. 

“Why don’t you just tell us? Instead of running and crying to your room, just tell us. Tell us what the hell he meant.”

“I don’t think you want to.”

“Don’t pull that bullshit on me. We have all been tortured. One way or another. For fucks sake the winter soldier is right next to you! Whatever your 16 year old ass went through wasn’t shit for anyone."

“Fine, Natasha. I’ll fucking tell you what’s up.” Jade stood up straight pissed. Buck and Peter followed behind, Buck wrapped an arm around her waist as Peter grabbed a hold on her arm. “Back when Loki first found me, he told me this poem. He just murdered nearly three hundred people into my living room and he told me a fuckin poem. The Wicked King. So I played with him. It was our banter..” Jade shut her mouth, really thinking this through. But Natasha’s pissed off look made her not care. She just wanted to smash her face in. “It got so twisted whenever he was cutting into me he would tell me his thoughts in riddles. The night he cut into my pelvis he told me about the Golden Palace of Asgard. He cut into me so deep...I can’t have children. But he didn’t stop there….I don’t know why he did what he did. Or why he decided to cut me up. Fuck I don’t even know why he took over Earth. All I have are memories and his fucking riddles. His Goddamn games.”

Jade pushed both men away from her, “Fuck you and your salty ass.”

“You’re a smart girl. You dodged my question with some small bullshit story. But all of us in here heard about some promise. We heard his confession Jade. Stop telling me bullshit. Tell me what really happened.”

Buck let her go. Betrayal in his eyes. Why would she defend Loki? What’s going on?”

“He just promised to take me to Asgard if shit fell apart. Which it did but guess what I’m still fuckin here.” Jade sighed running her hands through her hair. She was getting worked up. “That was the only fuckin thing he ever told me that I listened to. Just drop it. I hate talking about the past.” 

Of course she didn’t.

“You’re hiding something from us. Did you love him? Did you care about him? Did he pop your fuckin cherry?”

“Shut the fuck up and drop it!”

“Why? You’re never gonna tell us what happened! You’ve probably been lying to the fucking therapist too. But fine fuck you, go cry to your goddamn hero.”

“Oh you mean my goddamn soldier.”

That was the last straw. 

Nat jumped from her seat. In two strides she was in Jade’s face. But she didn’t back down, she yelled right back. Face to face, screams to scream. Fury watched sipping on his drink as the rest of the team grabbed the two women. 

“Do something. Fucking do something, you heart broken little bitch. Come the fuck at me.”

Buck had his arms around her chest, without hesitation he picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder. Jade screamed and squirmed into his grasp. “Put me the fuck down. I’m gonna get that loud mouthed bitch.” Natasha hit against Tony and Steve. Both of them had their arms around her. Peter had his arms around her waist as Tony had her arms. Thor sat with Fury, sipping on shitty Midgurdian ale. He had seen women fight, but never with so much words. So much hate. He knew Jade was lying, because he lied about her too. Jade wasn’t from Germany. But his friends weren’t ready for that. She wasn’t either.

Buck was about to take her out when Nat threw a beer bottle in their direction. The glass shattered behind him. “ Yesli vy ne ostanovites' pryamo seychas, vy uvidite ad, kotorogo vy nikogda ne khoteli.” (If you don’t stop right now, you’ll see a hell you never wanted to.) Buck’s words made her stop in her tracks. She backed down, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Jade still mumbling, he hauled her off to her room. A very pissed off Bucky hauled her to her room. Nat looked at the rest of the team. Then at Fury. Her boss. She just lost her shit in front of her boss. 

Fuck you James Barnes. 

Fuck you too Jade Evans.

 

Jade bitched her way until she was thrown on her bed. She moved to get right back up and punch Nat for coming at her, but Buck held her down. His strong hands held her small wrist. The look in his eyes made her stop. She caught her breath as he looked down at her. She has never seen him angry before, ever. It was horrifying. 

“That was not right for you to say that. That was not your place.”

“I..I was mad Buck.”

“Yeah so was I. But I don’t go throw around other peoples past bullshit. Natalia and I were just fine. After tonight I can’t say that. You brought up a lot of the past people don’t know. On top of that you’ve pulled attention to both of us. You said I was yours. Do you have any idea what look Fury was giving me? I’m suprised he didn’t fuckin shoot me.”

Jade looked away from his gaze. Nothing she has ever said when she was mad has ever affected anyone. She didn’t have anyone. But now she has. Buck held her arms together with his metal arm, his flesh hand making her look at him. Green eyes looked into steal blue. “Tomorrow you are going to fix your bullshit. No running away to drugs, nothing. But tonight you are going to take punishment for your actions.” Her brows furrowed as he got off her. “Do as I say and it will be over fast.” Buck pulled his shirt over his head. Stepping out of his shoes he looked over at her. “Strip.” Jade shrugged out of her clothes until she lay in her underwear. “No bra again? I like that.” With a click he took off his belt. Once again he climbed on top of her, tying her hands together with his belt. 

“Sit still.” 

With his metal hand he moved down her body. Starting at her rib cage, he dragged the freezing digits down her side. Popping his neck, he ripped off her grey underwear. She twitched and looked up at him with doll eyes. Like ten minutes ago she wasn’t going to murder someone. Putting his metal hand on her again, he spread her legs. “Keep your legs spread, they start to close I’ll make them stay open.” He couldn’t help but grin. She was getting off on her punishment. Just like he wanted. He shoved a digit into her opening, quickly adding another one. Jade squirmed beneath him. “Stay still, I don’t repeat myself.” Her tight walls squeezed around his finger. He sat still for just a moment. Taking her in. Cheeks stained pink, body flushed, and needy. He fuckin loved it. Pulling his fingers back he shoved them right back in. He was going fast and hard. The sound of her slick opening filled the room. His fingers hooked to drag against her walls, finding that spot and hitting it. Over and over, harder and harder. Jade moaned loudly, gripping onto the belt tightly. She tried her hardest not to move. Not to squirm and buck into his fingers. She couldn’t put the feeling into words. It was as if she was so high in the sky, she wasn’t on Earth. She came on his hand, the hardest she had ever came in her life. 

Buck pulled her fingers out, licking at the metal before he ripped the rest of his clothes off. His thick hard cock making her bit her lip. He moved so he was in her face. His lips just barely away from hers. “Do you want to be fucked darlin?” Buck rubbed the tip against her sensitive folds. She wrapped her legs around his waist. Looking into his eyes, “Yes. I want it so bad. Fill me up Bucky. Please.” Pushing his cock in, he took hold of her hips. He was going to need a grip for this. Jade watched his muscles flex and his eyes rolled back. Never gets old. His hips didn’t just snap, they slammed. The bed frame crashed into the wall as Buck let himself go. His hands gripped onto her tightly. His hips smashing into hers in a beautiful bruising pleasure. Buck moaned with her. She was so much tighter right now. He buried his cock into her, stuffing her to the hilt and slamming right back in. The frame cracked beneath them. It didn’t take her long to tighten around him. Despite his own needs he pulled out of her. Right when she was on the edge. Buck caught his breath as he looked down at her. 

“Buck. Buck. Please. Don’t do this please, fuck me.”

Getting up from the bed he reached into her drawer. Taking out a vibrator, with a button on the top, he rubbed it against her opening. “This is your punishment darlin.” Gently he pushed the toy into her core. But he didn’t turn it on. “Get the toy to come on and you can come. If not you might be here for awhile.” Jade cried into displeasure. She squirmed her bruised hips to try and get the button on. Her wrist tugging at the belt around her wrist. Her little whines and whimpers made his cock ache even more. Again Buck forced himself away from her, walking into the bathroom for a shower. 

Steve watched on his laptop. He watched the whole thing. At first it was to make sure Buck didn’t lose his temper. And well he did, on her hips. Steve felt as if his mind was completely blown. He did so many things he didn’t understand. Why did he leave her like that? Wasn’t the goal to come? Isn’t that why you had sex? Despite his confusion he never felt so hard before in his life. He knew what he was doing was wrong. He tried going back to porn it just didn’t work. It didn’t turn him on like this. Luckily his best friend was a soon to be sex addict. All last night they fucked like rabbits. But nothing like what he just watched. Last night was more casual sex. Way more casual. This he would think as abuse. Steve watched as Jade cried and squirmed onto her bed. Her back arched, he could see the bruises on her hips. He couldn’t look away. He knew ten minutes or so passed of her laying there waiting for Buck. Finally he watched Buck walk into frame. He had never been so prepared to watch something in his entire life. 

Buck whistled at the sight in front of him. His cock still rock solid he crawled between her legs. Wiggling the toy out of her, he replaced it with his cock. “Thank God. Oh fuck James. Fuck me. Let me cum.” Buck groaned, taking a hold of her thighs. He loved to watch her take him. Her pussy stretching so good around him. His cock hit against that spot. A couple hard thrust later, she came on his cock. Her eyes rolled back as she squirted onto him. Buck kissed her nose as he emptied inside her. String after string of his come coated her walls. “That’s a good girl. My sweet girl.” 

This was Steve’s favourite part. The way he treated her after. Buck cleaned her up, kissed her bruises and dressed her in clothes. Then he would lay next to her and hold her until she fell asleep. He was so good to her. One time he put lotion all over her, to help the soreness. Steve always smiled as his best friend fell asleep. 

He really hoped this would work out.

The couple stayed behind closed doors for hours. Buck made sure to tell everyone she was fine, they would be out for dinner. But neither of them were ready to face them. Jade just got called out on her bullshit and she didn’t blame them. Her little story was true. Loki always made riddles and poems with her. The promise was true as well.She wasn’t mad at Natasha either. The mission she came back from was brutal. Steve was supposed to go with her but she felt as if she could do it on her own. She almost didn’t. Jade looked up at the TV, her arms around Bucky’s waist as she laid on his chest. She could feel him thinking. She could smell his insecurity. 

“What do you want to know?”

“The truth.”

“Would you believe me?”

“Of course."   


“Would you go to the team?”

“No.”

“Fine.” She crawled in his lap. “The reason I have the problems I do. Depression, anxiety, PTSD, all that bullshit. Is because what I remember….isn’t Loki. I remember the bad. All of the bad. The abuse, the hateful words, the cruel things he would do. Because of the tesseract, the thing that was controlling him. But...I remember him..before.” Buck looked up at her confused. “I remember the way to the waterfall from the castle. The way he would look at his mother. I even remember the tunnels to the other realms..but I don’t know why. I don’t know where I came from. Who my parents are. Where my parents are. I don’t even know how old I am. I’m just here…with these bad memories..and these urges for death. I don’t know Buck.”

Buck held her hand. He knew what that was like. Waking up and not knowing who you are. It was a horrible feeling. It was a terrible thing. He kissed her hand. 

“I’ll take care of you. No matter what.”

He just wished he could keep that promise. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Husk meg, jeg husker deg. Elsker meg, jeg elsker deg- Remember me, I remember you. Love me, I love you.
> 
> Wow, this story went to shit real fast. Like REALLY fast. It's only the 7th chapter and I managed to ruin it.


End file.
